I'm worn out. I took my kids on a 4 day snowboarding trip. It was awesome. We had an incredible time. It really was incredible.
My STBX didn't communicate with the kids much while they were on my trip. My daughter talked to her when we got back. I didn't communicate with her at all other than to say that we made it to and from safely via a short courtesy text.
It was interesting while I was there. I thoroughly enjoyed my time, but on occasion I would find myself thinking that she was really missing out on wonderful experiences with the kids. I was thinking she would have loved the downtime at the spa or working out in their gym. At times when one of the kids was in the room by themselves I was thinking it would be nice if they had company (we were at a ski in ski out).
On the other hand, I can be pretty fun when I don't have to worry about much, meaning getting grief for the way I do things so that was also nice - not being judged for my decisions.
It was just an incredible trip with snowboarding, swimming, hot tubbing - it was great.
I'm still working through feeling anxious at times. This kind of life change is unsettling. The attorney's that we'll have to continue to work with and the uncertainty around the outcome of this also creates anxiety. I question some decisions I make, like tomorrow I'm flying back to Florida for the five days I don't have the kids - I feel a little guilty about that, like I shouldn't be doing it.
My work is suffering some and I really need to get on it; soon enough I guess.
