I'm sorry this is all happening. But I'm very, very confused. I've been reading along this whole time and I have lost count of how many times you've said basically what you just said above-- she said X, now I totally get it, I'm done. i'm going NC. It feels a bit like Groundhog Day.
Can you share some actions you'll take this time (different from before) that will help you break this cycle? Maybe it is time for parenting app that you can communicate through if necessary and you can block her number? How are you going to protect your children?
I'm just feeling so sad right now. Your kids are even more in the middle of this than they were before. It is just horrible to witness.
Can you and your IC come up with a plan for how you will break free of these unhealthy cycles? I think you need a sponsor like in AA. Is there someone you can call who can counsel you away from your impulses to engage? Can you post here more frequently like when you're tempted to say BUY HER FLOWERS people here can talk you off the ledge? Can you block her phone NOW? Tattoo STOP on your hand or make a stop sign your new phone screensaver?
A tiny part of me is wondering if this is all real.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
