Sorry you're here. We have a poster here who describes his divorce situation as "the best worst thing that ever happened to me". You have been given a gift of time. You should use it grow and learn and to have fun or cook that special meal or go to the place you've only dreamt of. You should reinvent yourself. Get in the gym, join a club, make time for things.
I know the pain. A lot of our pain is self created. You have to worry about what you can control and put your good energy into that. For example, whether Marriage Builders is right or wrong I don't know but your H is gone and it's water under the bridge at this point.
You are in Last Resort Technique territory. LRT means:
Stop Pursuing Get a Life (GAL) Wait and See
It's pretty simple in that regard but hard to accept the reality. You should be treating him like an ex. You should prepare mentally for him to do things you may not like. Being detached is important. I would recommend reading the detachment thread daily.
I see you worrying about acting as if and whether it will push him further away. My best advice is to always do what is right, not what is easy. I would always have an activity planned and be dressed and ready to go when you're interacting with him. To be frank, I faked this several times in my sitch. I got dressed up just to go read a book in the park. I got dressed up to drive around. I stayed out late just to make her think. You don't have to worry about some of that obviously.
As for the marriage counselor, don't beat yourself up. Just learn from it. I find MCs tend to mimic the culture and the actions speak for themselves. I wouldn't be pleased either but that ship has sailed too. Keep posting!
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
