"Yes, I am in a pretty dark place right now, this being so fresh and it is utterly overwhelming."
This is normal. And likely the one thing that will make things harder. When "something" leaves we tend to overthink it. Why, What, Who and How. So.. How can I help you to stop that train of thought? Because believe it or not.. his action will force you into a weird place. It will make you seem awkward in everything you do. Why, is his decision to leave so unexpected?
"I am here crying like a baby because while I know I can’t control what he wants, I really don’t want what is happening right now."
Most relationships are about control and who has it. Right now you are "giving" him more control than he really needs. It is fine to cry and complain, be angry and all that comes with "this". But to a point.. don't let him see you sweat. And the kids will be watching too.. don't let them see you sweat either. He left.. you are moving on. Take that to heart.
"I wonder, will acting “as if” offend him further? Will he think I am selfish and not thinking about his hurt?"
He did not get to this point lightly. Honestly, he may feel that way no matter what you do. He was selfish and hurtful with his actions as a whole. So, there is a layer of "who cares". Your actions should be yours. At the end of the day it is about saving yourself.. and then the marriage. Think when you first met.. and none of the drama of life existed. Something there.. he found attractive.
"Also, for those of you who are piecing or reconciling - how did this begin? Did you avoid contact until they initiated? "
You will know when this is happening. You know it is not happening right now. What are some things you could do to GAL?
" Everything just feels so urgent in my mind right now. I’m like a ball of spinning anxiety."
So.. you know you might be acting a bit oddly right now. It takes time.. but the quicker you can slow this.. the easier it becomes.
Relax..
And
Do Work
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
