dmrafa, we all come here with that perspective. We don't like who are WS has become, but we also do not want to lose the intact family that we have. The problem is that we unfortunately don't get to make that choice. It takes two to work on a MR, it only takes one to make it end in D. So focus on what you can control: YOU!
Two things, first you shouldn't even consider sex with a S that is in an active PA. Protect your health. Most people even advocate that you should make a full STD screening a requirement for R if she ever decides to come back. And you shouldn't share a bed with a S in an active PA, but you should also not give up the MBR. So you move her into the guest bedroom. Just move her stuff in there and tell her she isn't welcome in the MBR.
dmrafa, gaining her respect is the most important thing right now. If you try to nice her back you will just cause her to respect you less. Take the strong step of kicking her out of the MBR and she may hate you for it....but she will respect you! And gaining her respect is the first step back.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
