New Beginnings Pt 3

[Gerda]

I think it's really good, Can! I'd just cut out any words you don't need. MLCers have no attention span.

I know he hasn't acted like your H for a long time, but somewhere in there is a person who loved you, married you, had a child with you, and likely wants you to do well and be safe. In my worst days with OD, I've always believed that he does want me to be safe, to have a good home, to be able to offer refuge to my children when they need it. I still have faith that in the end, he will be kind even if the road to get there is twisted and rutty and tough.

I believed this about my H and it crippled my ability to get what I needed. I agree with Own in theory and want to encounter everyone in the world that way but I think it's dangerous to believe the MLCer will ever do the right thing. I think it's good to phrase it like that in case you need it in court later. But don't believe it will work. You also have to be ready with what you are willing to give up (what money you are willing to lose) if he doesn't want you to do well and be safe. I think my H wants me to suffer and then die. And I say that as a Christian woman who does my best to not judge him and leave that to God. And maybe he'd even cry on my grave and see everything clearly afterwards. But that agenda is what motivates my H's actions now. I just think it's important to be very clear about who they are so that we can protect ourselves and our kids as we negotiate.

Here's my edit to cut out words you don't need --

House Plans: Would like to discuss plans to settle our debts and take over the house. After thinking through the options and the cost of housing, I need to make sure D4 has the stability of the only home she’s ever known.

A sale of the house as per our agreement --

Sale price - debts - Realtor fees (6%) - Closing costs ($20,000 +) - Repairs & Miscellaneous needed to sell = X equity

1/2 equity = X, each of our share of equity

I'd receive a credit against your share for (if you are owed credits on your contributions to mortgage or whatever).

I have secured financing to take over the mortgage and pay off the debts.

I look forward to a clean split so we can both move forward and am sure we can cooperate so this goes smoothly as possible for all our sakes.