Little Gerda Goes Forward with Courage and Safety

[Gerda]

Well, just in time for the break (so you will all have to say beautiful goodbyes again : ) ) -- got this from H this morning.

Keep in mind these things -- he filed a fraudulent tax return for 2019, as a single head of household with S15 living with him (he hasn't seen S15 in almost two years and is still married), not declaring that he was still half owner of two properties then, not declaring any rental income or mortgage interest. I have begged him and his lawyer and the judge to make him fix it as it meant my return was rejected, I never received a stimulus check, and my refund all got taken for our joint debt to IRS though I am on a payment plan paying every month with no help from H. (My judge of course does not care about this fraudulent return and has not taken any action on my many requests for relief, just keep signing his motions for contempt and not ruling on them.) Keep in mind also that his entire focus for the D, and the reason he won't settle with a buy out payment plan, is getting me to sell our place, which would mean kids and I would have to leave our neighborhood (school, friends, church, neighbors, etc). And finally, that he left me with tens of thousands of marital debt that he refuses to acknowledge and that he has never finished his PhD that would enable him to get a better job, even though I stood back for over ten years while he went to grad school and tried endlessly to finish the PhD, wrote thousands of unintelligible pages which I would periodically edit for him at his request, even after MLC was full throttle, and which he would always reject, saying I didn't understand anything.

And then also that last week D11 went apartment hunting with him (yes, in pandemic) and he told her he signed a year-long lease in a place across town. I was already sick to my stomach that he'd be so close. And that she told him yesterday that on Monday and Tuesday she was going upstate with me.

And finally, that one of the things we disagreed about for some years before BD was that he hated my neighborhood and wanted to live uptown in a neighborhood I don't like. I have lived in my neighborhood since 1997 and love it so much, feel that this is my place, have run three businesses here, know many people here, etc.

Keep all these things in mind as you read this so that you, too, can say, "Wow, MLCers are CRAY to CRAYTH DEGREE." Also that they read the world with Persecution Glasses glued to their nose bridges. And so that you can tattoo on your forearm, "Believe none of what they say and less than half of what they do." And so that you can all at once, on the count of 3, ask the universe for Gerda's release from endless divorce nightmare.

I lose my sublet in (city in four states away that he moved to last summer) on Monday, and on that day I’ll be driving down to live with my parents in (state that is 20 hour drive from here and hotbed of Covid). While I pass through (my city) -- Mon/Tues (possibly Wednesday) -- I’d like to see D11, perhaps for a few hours each day. I know she’s off from school. She knows it may be a while before I see her again, so please make some time for me to see her on those days. You should know that I cannot secure the kind of contract for an apartment that protects me from eviction anywhere until I can both heal my credit and show more income than (his job) pays me... and I am at the maximum-course-load allowed by (his job) -- (names the number he is teaching, which is less than is allowed and less than he has taught in the past). In any case, on those days, I will be looking at short-term sublets in (my actual neighborhood, not even across town) --friends of (names a formerly mutual friend) -- with the long-term intention of permanently residing in (my neighborhood). Whether with you directly or with (his L), I’ll be seeking cooperation from you with the business of putting together an honest / fair image (via our 2020 taxes and other means) of my real income for landlords. While the rents in (my neighborhood) are at an unprecedented low, it’s clearly within in my legal rights to acquire, with your cooperation, the sort of security / lease that I need to secure my life in my own neighborhood and near the kids. Without that cooperation, I may be forced to relocate to (his parents' state) until our court case is finalized. Let me know your thoughts. - H

Note also that he calls it "our court case." He almost never uses the word, "divorce." And remember, I am the defendant! He is the one who filed, almost three years ago now!

Now for those of you who get tempted to engage with your MLCer, my only reply was to tell him the times over the next week that D11 was free. Nothing else, nothing about plans, his other requests, etc. One sentence listing the times she is free. If he writes again about the other stuff, I'll just tell him that we can discuss that with mediator or in court.