Little Gerda Goes Forward with Courage and Safety

[scout12]

Enjoy the break! I hope you have some positive movement in your legal battle during those forty days. Will be thinking of you.

[Eagle3]

Hi Gerda, enjoy your break! Hope you will find some rest!! xxx

[Gerda]

Cardinal, Scout, Eagle (also Sage, May and you other new ladies) -- Thank you so much for being my friends here. I was thinking that in my first couple years round these parts, I was not close to many women on the boards. I don't know if it was where I was in my journey (e.g., lonely for a man or wanting to believe men could be kind, etc) or just how things played out, but it is really nice now to have women friends here and get that perspective and support alongside the guys (who I still value so much obviously!). It's definitely a different type of friendship and I am very grateful for it! I will post again before Lent starts but just wanted to tell you that, esp as usually the Lent thing ends with me posting much less often til the next crisis.

Wouldn't it be so nice if we could all meet for coffee instead?!

xo
gerda

[Gerda]

Gerda, you will be missed! Not just your wise, thoughtful, caring words, but your voice.

Cardinal, these words are especially kind/helpful. I am suffering a confidence crisis with my writing, trying to get something out there (finished but to get it OUT there) and letting the process crush me a little too much. It means a lot that you feel a connection with my VOICE, that gives me a lot of courage. XO

[may22]

Hi Gerda,

Thank you for your kindness, your wisdom, and your support for so many of us here. I do love the women of this board (and I want more than coffee! I want a long weekend at a resort with perfect weather and umbrella drinks!!).

I agree with Cardinal-- your voice is strong and compassionate and really, really resonates. So many things you've said are engraved in my mind (especially a passage on Sage's page... man.).

Take care of yourself during Lent and I hope it is peaceful for you.

xoxo May

[cardinal]

Gerda, may I also encourage you to give up your self-doubt in regards to your writing for Lent? I still have not been able to get back to the novel I was writing before BD in any major way, though it is at least living in my mind again. Don’t let the process stall your writing too much. It can be crushing. But any time you feel those things clouding your mind, just gently remind those thoughts you’re okay with them being in your brain, but you’re going to not take them seriously, even if just for the next stretch of days. Have you read What It Is or Syllabus by Lynda Barry? I find both books beautiful and encouraging in the face of this sort of thing. Your voice is amazing. Keep going!

[Gerda]

Girl power, May and Cardinal, you sweet things!

Giving up self doubt for Lent -- that is a good idea. I am not sure how to do that, it's so cellular! But it's a good thing to try/pray about.

It's always the fine line here between being open enough to get support and closed enough to keep some things on the down low.... So I am trying to be vague! But the big piece is finished and has had some interest, just didn't go all the way. I work in a few different artistic fields that require a lot of hustling and a thick skin, beyond the creation side. I guess I feel very confident in my vision but less confident about marketability. I teach in the same fields and have no trouble motivating others to create. Before H, I was on my way in more than one field and then I let everything go and forgot who I was. Now I get scared that it's too late to make something of myself artistically, but I am trying to start my next thing and not take the hustling too seriously. In one of my other fields, I have literally let things go for all of Covid, and I am trying to set something up at home to be able to get back into it and keep getting waylaid by not being handy enough or technical enough, so it's all kind of a perfect storm of feeling like a loser.

But that said, I do have a finished work that I know is good, so I just have to keep trying and not let rejection get me down. That is what I meant about getting a lot of courage from your support. I will check out the Lynda Barry though, and I will start making plans for our umbrella-drink weekend, 2022.

Now Cardinal, your turn. I know you have 15 minutes a day to write. If you don't, wake up 15 minutes earlier or go to bed later. Toni Morrison did it at night when the kids were asleep. The novel is to be found as it appears on the page, and it will appear surrounded by pages and pages of things you will toss once you see the actual novel appearing. I am sure you will start to see it this year if you do 15 minutes a day. What you are going through will feed the work, I speak from experience! XOXO

[OwnIt]

Gerda, have a peaceful time away and we will see you when you get back.

[CanBird]

Meeting for coffee would be amazing. Be safe & be well during your break

[DnJ]

Good Morning Gerda

May your break be renewing. 40 days of letting go of wants highlights how much our cup does indeed runneth over.

You are pretty handy in my eyes - very far from a loser.

D