The Adventures of GH31, Wife and Baby

[GH31]

GH, thanks for the update. So you guys were in your early 30s when all this happened? And am I right to see that you guys R'd and started a family?

Affirmative.

I love it, such a great success story.

I don't think of us as a success story, really. My 30s are my lost decade, it was about 8 years of absolute hell and I'll never get that time back.

We were completely broke and deeply in debt as a result of choices prior to and during this period.

But we worked around the clock and paid everything off.

Would you agree that your marriage after R is so much stronger than it was before BD?

Yes.

I've got Gottman's Seven Principles tatooed on my brain and live them every day. It's definitely stronger.

2017 BD: dug in and did the work, made sure things were dealt with, refused to allow same dynamics to return, and feel that our MR is so much stronger today than it was pre 2017 BD.

Yes. THIS.

There is no changing the trajectory of your marriage without doing the real work. On yourself.

In my case I went right back to the beginning, to my very first memories from when I was about 18 months old.