May pretty much nailed it but I’ll add a little more. For the past five years you have woken up to a pretty $hitty marriage to a pretty $hitty W. Deep down in side you knew it was $hitty but it was at least the life you knew which was a sense of stability. You prefer the $hitty known to the scary unknown. So with time this new life will become your known and if you keep growing and moving forward it won’t be $hitty and you will be happy. You will then know that you can walk away from anything or anyone that isn’t working for you.
