Midlife Crisis and Affair with Past GF

[may22]

Hi Elbereth,

I agree with Steve and Eagle-- you're doing amazingly well. It would be strange *not* to feel down and emotional about what is happening-- it is enormously difficult. I've read that only the death of a spouse is harder to handle than what you're going through right now. But I have every ounce of faith you'll get through this. You're on the right path. You're driving the bus, not your emotions. (And I do think it is important to let yourself feel those emotions, even as you separate them from your actions. They are valid and you deserve to have them. Maybe use the time alone to give yourself a little wallowing time, express your anger and your grief in a safe and healthy way, so that you can be strong when your S comes back to your house?)

I was thinking (I know I have a lot of threads) but the time frame that is probably the most relevant to where you are right now is last year December-Feb and then again June-July. If that is helpful to you at all. Probably the most helpful part is that I was fortunate to have some incredible posters and so you can see all of their advice to me. (Also my H was/is a talker so there may be some windows there into what is going on in the WH's head.)

This particularly is great, I think:

I definitely feel like a work in progress, but I know I am strong and will grow from this experience regardless. I do feel like I lost myself over the last few years, so even though I am sad, confused, and all from the turn my life has taken it has reminded me to focus on the things that are important to me again, and return a bit to putting myself first again. At least that is a goal!

All of this is so healthy and you WILL grow from this experience. Stay strong. It will get easier. HUGS.