Help.

[SteveLW]

@CWarrior - Thanks. My reply about not wanting to see her was really me practicing being authentic, I'll need to think about that more.....


She called me in a panic...we talked through a few options. She's a nurse so she needs to be careful. I'm a pretty resourceful man and found 3 practitioners who can do rapid testing. After we went over some next steps I could hear that she was still unsettled. Then she said - "I'm really upset because of missing work, I have no paid time off, we have to cancel the baby sitters...and a few other things" I said I'm sorry and it all sounds like a lot. Let's take it one step at a time" It was the first time she shared any emotion with me in 6 weeks. Our daughter was in a fit in the background, A said that they were both hungry and she continued to spiral.

I said I'd go get them some breakfast and dropped it off at their front door.

Then she sent me a text elaborating on all the things she's stressed about - canceled dentist appointment cancelling 2 babysitters and a friend visit.

I simply replied - "I'm sorry, sounds overwhelming. I know you're doing your best"



Am I getting this right?

Wait. You found it necessary to RESCUE your damsel in distress......AND SHE IS A NURSE?!? That to me is like calling my mom and dad for technology help. It doesn't make sense. She is in the medical field. This is where your NGS is kicking in.

Then you take care of breakfast? Wow.

So look at this:

"She called me in a panic...we talked through a few options."
"found 3 practitioners who can do rapid testing"
" "I'm really upset because of missing work, I have no paid time off, we have to cancel the baby sitters...and a few other things" I said I'm sorry and it all sounds like a lot. Let's take it one step at a time""
"I said I'd go get them some breakfast and dropped it off at their front door. "
"Then she sent me a text elaborating on all the things she's stressed about - canceled dentist appointment cancelling 2 babysitters and a friend visit.
I simply replied - "I'm sorry, sounds overwhelming. I know you're doing your best""

You and her are fast becoming BFFs! JHopeful, do you know how many women end up dating their male BFFs? Hint: It ain't a lot.

The friendzone is an awful place to be when you want to be a woman's lover. But that is where you are headed, if not already there.

Everything you just did is what a friend would do. And I know what you are going to say "but it was my daughter that was sick....."

You have a long life ahead of you of coparenting. You cannot rescue her every time she has parenting issues. That isn't coparenting, that is one parent parenting, and the other parent getting off scot-free. As a parent should should have had breakfast stuff in the house to feed her daughter. She didn't need KNIGHT IN SHINING armore Jhopeful to come rescue her from the "sick daughter dragon".

So, do you think all of this helped you in your goal to get this woman back into your life....or harmed you? (Yeah yeah, you were just being 'nice'. Do we really have to go over that ground again??)