My D proceedings are spinning into a death spiral with respect to finances. I don't want to get into the particulars as usual for privacy and legal concerns. I'm spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to hit the eject button and parachute out. Unfortunately I live in a state that is very bad for the primary wage earner in these situations. It's going to be really tough for a long time. I'd like to settle but my STBXW has not been open to negotiating.
It's almost been 2 years now, but I recall finding this site and vets like LH19 advising me not to move out of my home. I still contest it was the right move -- but only because of how my custody situation played out. I have my kids equal time now and I do not regret any steps I took along the way to achieve that goal, no matter the financial cost or emotional toll it took on me. I love spending time with my kids and I know these years when they are young are precious.
Financially leaving the house has only further entangled matters. An absolute disaster.
The glimpses I now see of my STBXW -- through court filings, or things my kids will say to me off-hand, or through the rare times we communicate on the court-monitored application -- still stun me a bit. I accept that there is a lot of resentment and emotional reasoning driving her. But I am a little shocked it has devolved to this level. She is incredibly manipulative - for instance, contacting teachers and doctors through back-channels to perpetuate her false narrative. I could post things for days here about what has been happening.
I feel like I've lost some faith in humanity along the way. I trust people a little bit less now. Even good people who I have no reason to distrust. I know there are evil, terrible people in the world. But this was a woman who at one point I decided to spend my life with, have kids with, build something together. You always hear about these high-conflict D's and think both people are crazy and have explosive personalities, that they must "feed off the conflict" or have personality disorders or some other thing wrong with them. "No way this could happen to me, even in the worst-case scenario."
