dmrafa please get yourself to a lawyer. You are overdue for learning what your rights are (and those of your W). You are legally blind so to speak. Make a consultation with an attorney an immediate priority. A mediator is neutral and is therefore not on your side.
I assume that you have a guest room in your house as you have family coming in for months at a time from other countries. That guest room is where your W should be sleeping now. You can't physically force her there but you can tell her that is where she should be for IHS as she is the one who is on the way out of the R and the house. You stay in the MBR no matter what. If you're not there now, get back in there tonight.
Do you have command over your finances? Does W have access to accounts? Credit cards? Make sure you are on top of the financial situation. Two of my good friends who went through bad D's made some great moves early on that saved them each many thousands of dollars. Depends on the legalities in your jurisdiction to a degree. Don't let yourself get fleeced by W, she is not to be trusted right now if ever again.
You are 1.5 years post BD? What are your GAL activities?
What was W's job before COVID? Why can't she work and support herself in her own house? Are you funding her entire existence now? How is she going to pay for the trip to see OM? Please see above re Talk to a Lawyer and Command Over Finances.
I agree with the wise people posting here about No Spoken Ultimatums. Spoken Ultimatums are a self-set-up that usually ends with the issuer not following through because 1) they can't legally do it and/or 2) lack of backbone and/or 3) they really don't want the ultimatum result. Internal Ultimatums to yourself only please. That way if you don't follow through you don't look weak. But I do advocate following through so as not to feel weak. So mouth closed re ultimatums. Actions, not words.
Good job on terminating pursuit, keep it up!
Keep posting dmrafa, you will make it through this and believe it or not right now you have an amazing life ahead!
