Greetings from Coocoobananaville, it’s been awhile since I posted but I still check in here from time to time and mean to post but it doesn’t happen and I have some time in the airport today. . I’m doing good but it’s been a rough year, my ex step mother in law just passed away from glastioblastoma and it’s been a stressful last month. It’s hitting me really hard, she was such a great person and made me a better person just knowing her. It’s making me tear up think about her.
Ex has been with her helping and I’ve had the kids and weve been making weekends etc work. We’re getting along but I could see she was on edge when we talked. The night after she passed I called to check on ex, she was drunk and nice to me when I could hear people in the background, then she went into another room and let loose, it was bomb drop again, saying same exact stuff as when our friend died and she would t stop. Same exact stuff to the tee on repeat. How I wasn’t there for her again and comparing me to her parents. It was so crazy, I ended up yelling back at her when she started attacking my parenting and then telling me not to tell the kids any of my hippie crap. She calmed down a little and apologized but kept it up until ex step fil knocked and asked to talk to me, then I was so upset I could barely talk. I wonder if he heard and came to stop her. She apologized a couple times the next day but now I’m anxious again, about everything with her even though we’re getting along. To make it worse, guess who showed up at the funeral, om1!, it was super awkward. Ex Thankfully I thought it was her last bf, and couldn’t figure out why he was being weird around me until I put it together on my drive home. I’m glad I didn’t put it together before, I have a lot of anger towards that greasy weasel and it was better I didn’t realize it until later. I showed up to the reception w/son but wanted to leave as I felt uncomfortable. Ex showed up after we had been there awhile and I told her I was leaving, she kept asking why and told om1 she was walking me out. On the way she apologized and said he just showed up, and told me how ex smil didn’t like him and how she loved me, it was al just weird and opened up some wounds but that’s an affair for ya, and better to be cheated on than the cheater. The next day she called to see how I was and asked why I left and said she asked me to stay, I know she’s really upset right now but really!? We’re getting along still but I’m anxious again, I don’t want to repeat anything similar to 5 years ago. Hopefully things calm back down, thank god I found meditation.
I feel better just getting that out, I’ve been holding it in since the weekend.
