House Plans: Let's discuss moving forward. Coming to an agreement, where D4 and I remain in the home. Where would you like to start?
Hmmmm - not sure.
Assuming your ex is typical he would be both lazy and wanting to be in control. I know for me that it helped to present une fait accompli. Given options you can perhaps expect him to bounce around and nothing to be accomplished.
Less is often more otherwise the ducks wander around and make a mess on the lawn. Given that you know him the best would you say that given a clear proposal he would take that and then go off and play with the fairies?
There were some key components to how I got my own deal: - knowing that she was greedy and wanted both my and OM's money - knowing that she would never start working on anything hard - knowing that there was a certain amount of guilt and "not wanting to be the bad guy" - knowing that she had always relied on me to be the organized one - knowing that she believed me to be completely honest and trustworthy - knowing that she didn't want her dirty laundry aired in public or in court
Now - I don't actually "know" if what I "knew" was true or what she actually did believe. For one thing, I believe she wanted out of the house. In the final days she complained about it and I did know that OM had a decent little house already. Turned out she was highly offended by the suggestion that she didn't "need" or "want" the house.
The proposal she accepted with modifications was as a deal where I bought her out of her equity in the house, gave her a lump sum of money and then a fixed amount of spousal support for a fixed period of time. AND a clause that neither party would for any reason re-open the agreement. So she could be with OM and not have me chasing after arguing that she no longer needed spousal support. As my lawyer pointed out to me, people will lie about all sorts of things.
So - she was able to get out of the house, get "her due amount", and never be accountable to me for her past or future actions.
Your own path will of course depend on where your own ducks roam.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
