Yep thats what my WW said after a week apart - that i should be over her by now and i should be looking to date again?
Her statement shows how irrationally she's thinking. She is operating from her emotions.
I think a mistake LBH'S make is in how they respond to the WW encouraging them to date. Most of what I've seen, is the H trying to tell her he's not interested in dating and prefers to save the M. Actually, this is not what he should say to his WW. This is not a clue for the LBH to defend his personal beliefs, or whatever. If he's smart, he won't let her know what he's thinking/feeling either way. That's part of the mystery that makes her wonder what he's really going to do. No matter if she encourages him to date, she will be jealous of any woman who might replace her. Ironic, I know, but that's part of the craziness.
The LBH should remain stoic whenever his WW talks about what he should or shouldn't do. Don't try to give all the moral/religious reasons for not dating before you're D. And guys, please don't tell her how you took the wedding vows seriously! I promise you, it has no positive effect on her. Too many LBH's try to pass along some kind of message, a truth dart, or DB point he read on the board. He is hoping something said will penetrate her thick head. If anything, it has a negative effect, b/c he sounds a little bit self-righteous and/or preachy. She may be acting crazy, but she's not stupid. She knows her H, and she knows these new things he's saying comes from a book or something. I can't tell you how much she resents those type comments. You gain no ground by saying these type things.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
