Yep you guys are right. Each day that passes I get less and less attached, more and more angry about what Ive allowed myself to become. Its just legit bullsht now. I am tired of being weak and pathetic. I fight the urge to just say f-off the next time she reaches out. So I will just say nothing until the inevitable time she asks why im saying nothing and I have already decided my answer will be simple "sorry you feel that way, just dont have much to say anymore" and thats that.
I am going to start preparing myself for the D. Im not going to run down there and finish the paperwork but I wont be trying to talk her out of it. The next time she brings it up im just going to say "ok, no problem" and get it done. That simple. I am not going to be the one to end the marraige but I absolutely will not try to save it anymore. Her mother convinced me not to sign the papers a week ago. The next time my WW throws it in my face im going down and signing. yall can disagree with that and tell me I need to march down there and do it myself, maybe I should but I am just not ready for that. I will however continue NC, I am doing well, been about 3 days where I have said minimum or nothing at all. Im happy with that. It will get easier. Believe it or not I really have reached a point where I feel 100% defeated and dont feel like trying to do anything to save this M. I wont lie and say I have given up hope it can change, I still have a little, im still attached to the idea. But I do see the reality more and more each day and I really am in my soul absolutely certain I have done enough and I am not putting any more effort into this. Thats where Im starting at today.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
