I have a couple of people in my life who've weighed in with opinions when they aren't asked ... one is related to me the other one of my closest friends. I won't lie - there's now a distance, on my part, from them doing this repeatedly and not accepting my boundaries.
the friend says things like "why are you even blah blah blah. I would just" and until in exasperation I've said things like, well, I'm not you. This isn't your life. It's mine, and I have to do what makes sense to me, not what makes sense to you. I've also said no, you DON'T know. You think you do, but you aren't here living it every day so you could not possibly know. Our relationship has not been the same since, nor do I think we will ever get back to where we were.
the relative went OFF on me about possibly dating - I'm talking meeting someone for coffee, not dinner, not drinks, not a weekend away, a freaking cup of coffee -- it will be YEARS before you're ready (this was two years ago) ... I'm like, whaaaa? no. done.
I felt my only recourse in both cases was to stop talking about specifics and just answer "fine" to most everything now or to change the subject to something else, and it they persist, change to a subject they are not very open about sharing on their end. Gets the point across, probably passive agressive but enough is enough, really. They rarely offer unsolicited comments now, but also we no longer have the closeness we once did.
It's hurtful, but I don't need to be judged.
I suppose maybe a simpler thing would be to say something like I prefer not to discuss that.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
