I guess my definition of drastic steps is kinda like trying my very best to leave her be and let her own her consequences.
I'm not going to deny that I am still in the early stages of detachment; vacillating between being nice to her and distancing myself.
I'm dipping my toes into acceptance; but there's still some portion of denial and bargaining in me that I need to get rid of (I'm still trying to work this out with my IC).
And i don't think there's a linear path to it; I have to be patient that I will jump back and forth but the main point is that I'm crawling forwards and not backwards.
When I look back a year ago where I was doing all sorts of push behavior, I'm confident to say that I've improved; maybe not significantly but good enough to give myself a pat on the back that I've tried my best.
And thank you all for the 2x4s; I need them to straighten myself!
And to answer Adam's questions; I'm gonna read DR for the 4th time this weekend... I've been reading Sandi's 37 rules every other day to try to drill them into my head. As for the repulsion part; it seems that I'm still not repulsed enough to leave her to her own devices. I will need more work on that area.
Water under bridge; I will dust it off and start all over again. Baby steps or not!
AK how long are you willing to wait for her?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
