Need advice on stubborn W part 2

[Adam04]

AK,

It's pretty simple to leave someone to face their own consequences, just means you do nothing. You move aside. Like that night prime example.

Let me tell you, in my sitch people were telling me to wake up. My marriage was dead, I was dealing with a WW and her heart was full of resentment.

You know there is an OM, she's out late at night. Spending nights on the weekend now? Yet you say you aren't sure if there is an EA/PA??? You're fooling yourself and you're stalling your progress.

YOUR MARRIAGE IS DEAD. I'm sorry to say that but it is for right now.

You're right grief is not linear. Take all the time you need to cycle through your feelings.

Okay about the DR book. You read it a few times. Great. So you remember where it says if they have one foot out the door you stop and go to the back of the book to the LRT? Well consider that where we are. You do nothing but leave her be. No pursuit, no pushing, no chasing. I feel that the DR book is good if you're patching up a rocky relationship with the W and yall are still on good speaking terms like pre BD, but post BD, treat em differently.

And since its a WW you're dealing with, have you read all of Sandi's posts on the WW mindset and the loss of respect for you as a man?

Sounds like you understand the push pull relationship and how that can be harmful. With the male being the chaser, coupled with possible case of NGS for nice guy syndrome, it'll more likely cause the woman to be repulsed from the chasing , begging, pursuing, trying to get them to see things. You'll come off as trying to control her.

The quicker you stop, the sooner she may feel less pressure from you. Doesn't mean anything to the already dead relationship, just means you aren't making it worse to where she feels like she needs to run to the courthouse for the D.

Now while you take the pressure off of her... here comes more of the baby steps of working on you. Asking yourself what went wrong. Were you a slob, fix it. Were you always yelling and mad, control those emotional outburst. Were you passive aggressive?

Learning to detach, there are baby steps to that like getting rid of the feeling that you needed to do something for her.
Some attachment issues may stem from NGS, nice guy syndrome, have you looked into that? Working towards identifying your issues and working on them one at a time is baby steps.

As the runner, they will need their space so as not to feel like you are pressuring them. As the chaser you will feel the need to be close to them. You're going to have to work on this dynamic with some self control.