Onward and Upward!

[97Hope]

Hi Warrior! Things are going amazing at work! I love it. My FTO said that I am doing better than a lot of other people that come through this part of the program, and I'm ahead in a lot of areas. That's such a magnificent feeling. It's exciting and fun and keeps me so busy I don't think about anything else.


I would like advice from my people here on another matter that keeps happening to me.

Example:

My friend suggested a guy to meet (her and her H's friend). Said he was a good man. I wasn't ready. Then, when I was ready, I reached out to friend and said "I'm ready. Please set something up!"

Now - she is saying I need to wait to date, I'm not ready, I need to spend time alone and that if I'm not dating with the intention of marrying, I shouldn't date. Also that I need to just have female friends. (I almost threw up. I felt judged and controlled).

FFS.

I'm pretty angry. I told her as much. Told her she has NO IDEA what I am going through. She said that she does, that her and her husband got married later in life, they both spend a lot of time single, etc.

When she said that I just need to hang out with female friends, I was completely ticked off and said "Easy for you to say with a faithful, loving husband".

*she and I are completely honest with each other, have never not been able to be truthful and frank.

The thing that I'm angry about is that it is NOT UP TO HER when I date. I understand she is trying to be protective but I spend YEARS in a controlling marriage. I am finding myself, more and more, just wanting to get away from people who have advice for me who have not been through this.

So I don't want to lose a friend, and maybe another couple of days I won't be so angry - but it's been 2 days since that convo.

I can, and have, told people that while I understand that they want the best for me, that I have a therapist and a support group for this. Thanks but no thanks on the advice. Aside from kicking them out of my life, how can I manage this? 3 people in my life that constantly have an opinion. And why does it bother me so much?


I feel 'tight'. I feel like people have way too much invested in what I do.

I think for a long time I asked for advice from anyone who would listen, but now these same people are annoying me.

So...advice welcome. From people here who have actually walked the road I'm on because I find myself really struggling with people IRL.

I know I got myself in this mess with being so lost for so long and just reaching out for any life line, but now, I am just doing the best I can with a 789 situation that I didn't ask for.

I guess advice on how to deal with bad advice, and why it bothers me so much.

Thanks, guys. I appreciate the lack of judgment here.

x