New Beginnings Pt 3

[CanBird]

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Let The Negotiations Begin!


Here we go! The time has come for me to reach out, and being negotiations with xh, on taking over the house. (Received conditional Loan Approval) We are both on the title/deed. The decree states we sell & split. However, we both must agree on everything going into the sale. *It is what it is…. I was emotional & signed under duress.*XH sent me an email months ago, in early December asking me what my “plans were”. In simple terms, he stated, “I think selling would be the best option…. unless you can buy me out somehow”. I never did reply to the email. I literally just searched and didn’t see a thing. I’m sure I mentioned something somewhere, in a text.. like we want to stay in the house…but we’ve never REALLY talked.

SO, here we go. Where to start? I start here, with you all of course…lol… I appreciate, and do listen to the opinions of family & friends, but they really don’t understand the MLCer/WAS person that xh has become. Heck, I don’t really know who I’m dealing with either, other than he does not communicate. I’ve said this before, hopefully with the topic of the house as the subject, he’ll take part

Communication with xh: Because this IS a serious matter, that needs attention, I need to get his attention. I need to draw him in to read his email and get the conversation going there, on email.
What to say? “House plans. Let’s discuss. See email.” How’s that for starters? To the point? My loan lady said to get negotiating, get things and writing (I can do this myself) and get him to sign. Easier said than done, when I still have no idea where in the world xh is… but believe he’s probably with ow in the EU. Or they are traveling (insert barf emoji here). ANY way…. Once that’s done, we know where we stand. The rest will get taken care of at closing… (house gets signed over to me/he gets removed from the title & his payment is deposited to him). Oh how I enjoyed listening to my loan walk me through this. EMPOWERING! I AM EXCITED to be at this point! YES EXCITED!!

Okay, so, I throw out the bait for xh. He’s still a duck (THE BIG DUCK) And I’m Elmer J Fudd.. (most of you will get that reference…lol… Once xh takes the bait, then the negotiations really begin.

Debt facts FACTS: There’s a mortgage..in deferral .. until April & a home loan. He’s the borrower on both. Decree says we pay off both, if house sells & I get a larger portion in return because my dad gifted the down payment to get the house (again, nothing in decree about buying the other out.. it is what it is).

My loan lady suggested saying, “I’ve been pre-approved for a loan. I’d like to discuss the house”.

My father: “I’ve been pre-approved for a loan. I’ll assume all debts, the home loan & mortgage, in return, you sign the house over to me”.

My friend, wants to go in gentle and then if needed, come punching and kicking with things like, “This is D4’s home… you ABANDON us. I signed that agreement under duress. We can revisit that. A judge would see that I’m entitled to x,y,z.”…

I see everyone’s point. In the end, it’s up to me. What would you say? I know I’ve asked this before, but this duck is actually getting lined up. Before it was just bobbing in the water..

Ps- I’m also working with a wonderful accountant & I LOVE HER! Great when you speak to someone that gets your situation and wants to see you get what you need.

pss- Talking to a NEW guy online.. just chatting. Great distraction.

psss- I managed to separate the roots from the stump and remove a large portion of the problem. A lot of work still needed to fix things, but that’s all small stuff.