Steve_Letting go pt2

[Steve_]

For now I’m going to focus on the attachment issue I got and just try my hardest to stop. Drop the rope and just stop.

I am just hurting myself having hope and doing what I think “a good man would do” I’m tired of it. I’m just going to stop doing anything. Nothing has worked so I will just stop, lose interest, get off the stupid drama bus full of games. I’m sick of it. I keep saying to her I’m tired of this and doing it anyways. Time for talking is over, time for listening is over. I’m just done. There isn’t a damn thing I haven’t tried except legitimately giving up on my M so that’s what I’m going to do. Sure it will be hard but I need to just accept it already. I get it. I’ll get there. With our 10 year anniversary coming up in about 2 weeks and the fact we are still married doesn’t give me hope it actually pisses me off that I’m hanging around waiting for someone to change and care who doesn’t. That makes me feel weak, pathetic and less of a man. And that is what I’m focusing on, becoming more of a man not less. I need to stop letting this woman’s value of me determine my worth. I will try harder than ever to detach ASAP. I gotta face the fear and do it. I already lost a long time ago anyways, nothing to lose now.