I am not detached, Pack19 part4

[Pack_19]

Pacman,

You have given all your power away and you could never be happy in a relationship where you have no power. You can't see it but this isn't about your W. It's about your perception that you can only be happy in an intact family. This belief is most likely caused the downfall of your marriage. You were trying to protect it so much your W likely felt trapped and suffocated. That's what happens when you hold on to something too tight.

In life you need to adapt, improvise and over come. You have to learn to be happy in a split family. You have to be able to walk away things that don't work for you. I am pretty sure your W having a BF is not part of your core values. That's what you need to work on. Until you can have healthy boundaries you will always be a prisoner in any relationship.

Hi LH!
I hope you are doing great! I do think I was finally doing a good job on releasing pressure and setting up my boundaries when we interact. Just yesterday she told me I was a poor father in front of S7 because when I pick him up from her place I let him sit at the front row in my car. She threatened me to take a picture and send it to my L and eventually S7 sat behind but I told her he is safe as long as I use a base sit and he wears the seat belt. Of course she used the opportunity to shout that we are going to D when I told her not to interfere in my role as a father and then she left, probably to see OM, I dont care it was just sad.

Yes I was trying to protect it a lot but because I valued it a lot and I always believed it was worth the best fight in my life. Turns out the fight was against W. I already got over my dream of working in the F1 when I could and it has not affected me negatively, I am sure eventually I will reach the same point about my M.

No, this behavior is out of my boundaries, this is why I contacted L to initiate D but she suggested I wait until April when there will be more reasons to change the D agreement. I never thought she would do this while not D, I guess it is just a paper and as Sandi well said, we are living separate lives since over a year.