Gerda, I wanted to stop in and say hello and that I think of you often. I just got caught up on your sitch, but to be honest...I wasn't all that far behind. I occasionally get on here just to check on how you are doing. I'm sorry I don't comment to you when I do. You usually have tons of good advice from others so I usually gain more than I can offer by reading what DnJ, kml, butterfly, and others advise you, lol. Thank you all for that!!
I want to tell you what I told Gordie, that I hope that you know that whether you are posting or not, that you have touched the lives of others to such a degree that you are in their thoughts forever now. If you dropped off these boards today and never posted another thing, I would still think of you and gain strength from the support we have offered each other over the years. If NO OTHER GOOD comes from what has happened to us, then the man I am now based on the advise and support I have gained just from being your friend has been worth the trouble. It is hard to see your own light sometimes when we feel like it is being snuffed out by the world around us, but know that your light shines brighter than the brightest lighthouse and many find their way home because of it. I am glad to know you.
To your current situation, navigating this situation with children is HARD. I understand your son's reaction to learning about your cancer. He needs to know that, but its also a lot to process with all that is going on in his world. It is probably hard to be him right now...but luckily he has YOU to help him navigate these troubled waters. He will process the information and eventually be better for it. I bet its already helping him understand things better. Keep being you and this will get better.
And your daughter...it breaks my heart to know that she is being fed such evil drivel from her father, but you know what...I think the line about him referring to you as mama and saying he loved you is such a positive step...regardless of what you may want in the overall outcome. Yeah, he called you an a$$ to your daughter and that was despicable...but he's been disrespecting you for years. What he did do was call you mama to your daughter and admit that he did indeed love you. How hard that must have been to his MLC brain. Was he even capable of having that kind of thought last year? I don't think so. I don't think for a second that it means anything is changing soon or that he will be nice...but it is a step in the right direction. It may be followed with 15 backsteps...but how many forward steps has he exhibited in all this. I can't remember ANY from the time I met you. Its...something. Don't get any expectations or hopes from it, but recognize it.
Gerda, I hope your day is amazing today!! Tomorrow we will worry about tomorrow...but I hope our TODAY is amazing!!
