Just a small question can you do too much reading about the sitch or is ALL reading about the sitch and your WW good?
Yes you can. It is important through GAL to step away from your sitch as much as possible. I mention GAL. The reaon for that is that these two go hand in hand. We had a poster here a couple of years ago that was TERRBILE at GAL. Was full of excuses why he couldn't do GAL. He would sit at work, go home and sit, and just stew in his sitch. He'd post sometimes 2 dozens times a day in his thread, and seemed to take some level of satisfaction in seeing his thread reach 100 as quickly as possibly. He floundered in his sitch for months, and his progress was slow.
SO yes, you can read and post and be consumed by your witch and your WW too much. That is where GAL comes in!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Bad evening last night, D brought out the family photo's and that brought on sadness about the good life we had together? D cried about the happy life as a family that we had before her mother became a WW
From time to time, you're going to have these kind of moments. We all did. But over time, they happen less frequently and they don't last as along. Just remember that it is entirely normal to be sad about something like this. Just don't linger.
WW and AP have been getting letters from someone sent to them! saying what i don't know. they are not being sent by me or D as i have asked D! WW has decided that they must be from me! i can only guess that they are not kindness letters - but its the fact i am taking the blame she has not told me about them but MIL has without mentioning the contents!
It hurt me to the core to think that my wife just decided to become a cheating ____. It annihilated my pride feeling like I was not good enough for her. It crushed my soul when I found out what kind of douchey guy she chose as her OM. It destroyed my self-esteem knowing that the world was watching and wondering how I failed as a man.
But hey, a midlife crisis? That sounds like a condition that someone can snap out of!
Yes, I think I see what you mean. However, I wouldn't say they just snap out of MLC, either. Some can last for years. But I get what you mean about it being a condition.
So, when I try to imagine how I would feel if things were reversed and my H had an A with some piece if trash.......it does begin to make a little better sense. It's as if they are saying you were such a sorry spouse, even a piece of trash would be an improvement.
Thanks, Joe!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
It's not uncommon for the WAS/WWS to blame you for all sorts of things that aren't on you--and even the mystery letter scenario is not infrequent. Cheaters cheat and often there are more wronged parties. This is STBXW's and AP's mess. What's your worry? Is unfair blame unusual? Any clear danger to your kids? You know you didn't do it--so clear conscience. You told MIL you didn't do it--people who trust you will believe you.
WW has come to my house and moved all the stuff out today - feels kinda empty now was a little bit sad when i got home to see how empty her space is!
all clothes and shoes,cook books (wont be sad for them to go) i suppose no memories to hold back my recovery now and become who i want to be come again!
