Midlife Crisis and Affair with Past GF

[Elbereth]

Think about this. What if he weren't your husband? What if he was a family friend who wants to hang out? Once you decided you weren't comfortable seeing him for COVID-safe reasons, wouldn't you just... not see him? You wouldn't have to explain anything, even.

So maybe try this on for size: "If you return from this trip and aren't prepared to quarantine in the house and get a COVID test after 3 days, I'll be at a hotel." The boundary protects YOU, it doesn't control his behavior.

Hello. If this was a family friend I could just say, yeah you can't come over to my home. But it's not. This is his home as much as it is mine. Don't get me wrong, I do recognize that there is a tiny bit of control in my boundary about him seeing OW and asking to protect me from Covid. But I feel sort of trapped in this one, because I am at risk no matter what I do unless I leave or get a restraining order. And my lawyer said I should avoid leaving the home for legal reasons. So as I recognize this one is hard to enforce and isn't solely the best type of boundary, I felt that at least putting it out there was the right thing to do...and I did say I am not asking you to not see the OW. Just keep the family safe just like you will avoid your friends if you are exposed to another pod. I feel it's really one of those boundaries that are very hard to enforce without also causing myself harm (disrupting my life, my sons life, my legal standing in the home). So I will just keep my distance and wear a mask. I can't control what he does in this scenario either.

I have another question for everyone. If I am "dropping the emotional rope" and embracing that, does that also mean I should NOT wear my wedding ring anymore? Does keeping it on, the WANT of keeping it on, not really emotionally letting go? I did have it sized for my opposite hand, and could wear it there as I love the ring (and it is not a classic diamond ring, its more unconventional). What are your thoughts on rings?