Well, not much movement on the WW front. Everything is stagnant and sort of in "limbo" last thing I heard from WW was "I want to figure myself out, I dont want a relationship with anyone right now, I dont want a divorce either, your a great H and F but in the future, not right now" also "lets stay friends so we keep in touch and you dont fade away from my life, so maybe we can reconnect"
I am just working and trying to make my kids happy. Pretty much whatever comes out of her mouth is nonsense. She is spinnng, she wants to buy a car she cant afford, move into an apartment she cant afford, wants me to be a buddy and do family stuff with no commitment. Im just not digging that. Ive told her what I want, and then left it at that. She has been warming up to me little by little whenever I pull back. Its all part of her game to keep me attached, plan B, dopey mcgee.
I am still not detatched but I am trying. I could be trying harder, doing better. If im honest this is the hardest part for me. If not totally obvious from my posts here. There is not a single person I confide in that tells me I have done anything other than my best and to just let go. Yet, I just cant seem to let go of this hope that if I just hang in there things will turn around. Here is what I am trying to accept: (Lets say that even if I get better at detatching and she does "come around" it will be for the kids, for finances, for some stability or what have you, not because she is head over heels for me. I will continue moving on with my life looking over my shoulder and wondering when the next OM will rip her away or her next secret A that she doesnt leave me for is going on. I dont want to live that way, I know I got ZERO reason to stay with her, hold on, try, etc, just plain flat ZERO but I just cant seem to get it though my head. Its been 5 months since BD and her R with OM. (which ended about 2 weeks ago). Honestly thought when that fell through (knew it would) she would come running back to me (I did not detatch when she was with OM, so yeah prob why she didnt come running back to me).
honestly thats probably a good thing, she needs that time to "find herself" and not be forced into an R. The only thing I can do now is accept she needs to do her own thing without me in it, and I need to move on, give up my idea of keeping my M and family together. Day by day I get more hopeless for the M and more accepting of how gone she is. Im not detatched but I am slowly, inch by inch, working my way there.
My mistakes have been telling her "I dont want to be friends, im done" then doing something for her anyways. So I have learned instead of saying what im going to do/not do just....do it or dont. I kept making lines in the sand and not enforcing them. She has friend zoned me and I have let it happen. What I am working on now is doing my best to detach more each day, I cant control my feelings of sadness/etc but I can control how much or little I interact with her and I need to stop being afraid of not being "nice" it doesnt work anyways. Thats my big issue. So I see that and im working on it.
Last edited by Steve_; 02/03/2106:58 PM.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
