You have given all your power away and you could never be happy in a relationship where you have no power. You can't see it but this isn't about your W. It's about your perception that you can only be happy in an intact family. This belief is most likely caused the downfall of your marriage. You were trying to protect it so much your W likely felt trapped and suffocated. That's what happens when you hold on to something too tight.
In life you need to adapt, improvise and over come. You have to learn to be happy in a split family. You have to be able to walk away things that don't work for you. I am pretty sure your W having a BF is not part of your core values. That's what you need to work on. Until you can have healthy boundaries you will always be a prisoner in any relationship.
Read Scotty Bs thread. You guys are very similar. You both think it's about your Ws but in reality it's the mythical symbol a W represents to the two of you. Currently it is not reality and likely never will and that is why you both suffer immensely.
