KC, you need a vacation from all of this. Can you take a couple of weeks break from the dating and tell your ex that you're busy and block his number for a while too? And just practice self-care and schedule zoom calls with your female friends from out of your area? Nearly zero female friends means you must have at least one, right? Call her up and meet for drinks or dinner or a walk. Doesn't it seem so much more relaxing and inviting to spend time with someone you already know and who cares about you? Even if it is virtual?

I'd be exhausted too with all the dating and the random texts from my abusive ex pretending to be friends. It is a lot. Especially for an introvert. Give yourself a break. You deserve it.

Me (46) H (42)
M:14 T:18, D9 & D11
4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs
9/20 - present: R and piecing