I regret the mistakes I made in my M. Its not all my fault for sure but there were a couple of behaviors that I did that I was not very proud of.
There was something that we argued about... mostly when my H was feeling upset or controlled and I realize that if I had understood my WHY better I might have done a better job of getting him to understand that I was really just had a lot of fear... a terrible fear (financial insecurity) drove my behavior where he felt controlled.
For those of you who feel I've not been doing the work --- well I have. I have a better understanding of what drove some of my behaviors that STBXH was resistant with. Knowing where it came from I probably could have spoken with him better and he might have understood and been more understanding himself. Sometimes I wish I didn't do the work and maybe things would just be less painful -- its not easy seeing and working through your own short comings.
I am NOT excusing the behavior I suffered at the hands of my H... that is his crap to work through.
I regret not being more ready to date when I started.... I blew a good thing by not being ready and it is what it is.
