@sandi - she was married from 23-32. Had issues with a controlling husband - I also thought I was living under his shadow - I brought that up and I don't think she fully realized it.
We met when she was 34.
Sandi, call me crazy but there are many many things I love about her. I always outwardly encouraged her and it came across to hear that she wasn't good enough as she was.
Now I feel like there's so many layers to this separation..... I think the space is really good for her. I don't like the feeling of growing apart right now at all.
The more space I have the more I'm understanding myself, what I want, how I want to feel and how I want to show up in the world. And I see her (or someone like) her by my side.
I get confused and lost because in the past I would respond to her small advances and it would build momentum for us. I'm fumbling as you can see with some of my communication with her and not following up on anything that could be construed as an advancement. I'm also concerned that the "just business about our daughter" will trigger her abandonment that she felt during our relationship (which in part I now can see and own my share of that).
We are currently reconciling taxes and monies owed.
Also, as I may have mentioned, she asked to go to the mediator, I told her a few weeks ago I would call one once I was done training - and I did call one on Sunday. I still haven't heard back. I want to be a man of my word AND I don't know how to handle this one. Do I tell her I called? Do I leave it?
