Again, I tend to break certain rules. I did it again today.
I had to organize a carpool with one of my wife's old friends from before her affair. I hadn't talked to this woman much in years. At the time of the affair my wife and for years thereafter my wife had accused me of having this woman spy on her. I didn't remember that, but never thought it was worth the argument and moved on.
Today I asked this woman about it. She was indignant. She said I never asked and she never would have done that anyhow. She also said how my STBXW had back stabbed her a couple of times (something I didn't know) and she said that my STBXW's problem was her mother who had manipulated and controlled and mind-F'ed her.
Now, I know that's true, but I was shocked to hear it from someone who hadn't talked to my wife in 5 years when their relationship was severed.
If you've seen the movie the Matrix, that's kind of how I'm starting to feel about my life. Its like I was living this life and it was fine but I couldn't see the reality of it. As I get more distance, and talk to people, I'm shocked at the things they bring up or mention that I never saw and how it all seems to coalesce with my new view of reality.
Its creating cognitive dissonance for me, where I'm second guessing everything.
There is no going back, there is only forward. --------------------------
LH: I've never ridden a motorcycle. Jet Ski'ed Snowmobiled. Looks fun and I want to learn.
And I did marry a cheater. She cheated on me with her boyfriend when she was 20. I just thought that once you got married it was different. I guess not.
And dude, trust me - I did everything that could have been done for that woman. This one was not on me. A marriage takes two and I was willing to do the work. MY STBXW owns this one.
