There is zero excuse for any physical abuse, especially when your son even witnessed it and your son was emotionally abused by him from your account. Hurt people hurt people is never an excuse .
Wanting to see the “good” has nothing to do with your forgiving nature. It has to do with your trauma and attachment issues . You continue to obsess over a man who abused you, but the good is he’s nice to the puppy. The man was abusive to you.
You are obsessing and perseverate over two men. And I believe only for the reason they rejected you. Your self esteem and self worth are shot.
We have all said it, but there is a limit on the help you can get here. You really need professional help and I really hope for your sake you get it soon
I'm not denying my issues. I am working through them. My timeline for healing is not yours.
I just want to walk away and not HATE the man. Nor do I want to be hated. I relieve some of the episodes and wonder how I made it through. I just don't want to take that baggage going forward.
I'm working out a way for me to find peace in all of this.
I know its a day at a time. I will have good days and bad days. Truth is I will never hide behind my thoughts.
That being said I'm super excited to have finished a knitting project that is a surprise for someone and have started a new knitting project for myself.
