I'm just honestly having a hard time getting over pilot.
It's understandable. The first new person you're intimate with in 10+ years has an impact on most people. Besides that, your STBXH clearly left a void, and pilot filled it, probably better than STBXH in some ways.
Originally Posted by KitCat
don't want to be judged... I get it on a deeper level but it still just guts me.
Setting aside whether it was wise, it was brave putting your heart out there, showing up naked on his doorstep. We know KitCat is loyal, generous, and compassionate. Commendable traits.
Thanks for understanding.... I allowed myself to be vulnerable with him. Maybe not as quickly or in the way pilot wanted but I was getting there... lowering my wall. In a way that I have not done with anyone in 12yr.
I'm starting to see that he was not appreciative of the efforts I did make.
