I'm just honestly having a hard time getting over pilot.
It's understandable. The first new person you're intimate with in 10+ years has an impact on most people. Besides that, your STBXH clearly left a void, and pilot filled it, probably better than STBXH in some ways.
Originally Posted by KitCat
don't want to be judged... I get it on a deeper level but it still just guts me.
Setting aside whether it was wise, it was brave putting your heart out there, showing up naked on his doorstep. We know KitCat is loyal, generous, and compassionate. Commendable traits.
Once you work through your ex baggage, and feel strong on your own, you'll be in high demand.
Originally Posted by KitCat
Why lie??? We live a no fault state. Whether he lives with someone or not has not bearing on D... so why lie. Why should I even care? But, yes its just picking at a scab to see him..
It sounds like your brain knows what to do, and knows "why" he does things no longer matters. I can't wait for the day your brain convinces your heart and you go NC and move forward with your life.
