Sorry to hear it's been a tough week! Want to talk about it?
PS - I'm not annoyed by you--yet! Maybe the BOOM is one more month away.
Its funny BECAUSE I am so freaking shy. But, once someone really invests the walls come down. I remember being in college as a freshman working in the dorm cafeteria... I was quiet and just observing everyone. As a sophomore I knew everyone (except the new freshmen) and I was chatty Cathy. Come to find out my close group of friends all thought I was stuck up because I was so quiet. They couldn't believe that I was just so shy and then how cool I really was.
I don't want to be judged... I'm just honestly having a hard time getting over pilot. I don't know why... I get it on a deeper level but it still just guts me. I'm trying to learn not to act upon it though... that's some serious baby steps. Yup... I'm the girl who went out of her way to be liked by everyone.
Anyway.... I know I know... just get over it. For some reason its hard and taking me longer than it should.
Then there's the whole mess with my STBXH. Do I just smile and wave??? Pretend life is all good OR do I call him out on his BS and all the lying he is doing. Why lie??? We live a no fault state. Whether he lives with someone or not has not bearing on D... so why lie. Why should I even care? Yes, I love seeing the puppy... I love taking care of the puppy... I did a darn good job on his surgery. But, yes its just picking at a scab to see him and have him continue to lie to me. STBXH will randomly send photos of the knives he is making in his forge... he wants to share??? Is this a "bid" for attention? IDK what to make of the days he starts with a business texts and then its 2hr of other texts that are not necessary. I suppose I will be told its to keep me on the string or to see if I'm still on the string as Plan B.
So its all my doing. I stepped in the pile of pig slop.
I'm just trying to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. I accept each day as it is...
