Single man from Scandinavia

[BenB]

I don't have many updates usually since we are living separate lives but will update every once in a while anyway

XW reached out last month for a kitchen appliance that was given as a gift to us but she considers hers and said she can come pick it up and mentioned she would love to see the dog as well. I had forgotten all about it since I never use it. But I told her I can send it to her instead. She seemed annoyed by that answer and wrote "Okay.........."

About two weeks ago I wired her the last of the money I owed her in our divorce settlement and sent her a list of all wires. She responded a week later and again asked for the kitchen device. I apologized for not sending it yet but said I will. She responded that I can take my time since she doesn't need it but again offered to come to my place and get it. I responded that I don't think we should ever see or speak to each other ever again.

Her next email she wrote "Oh okay...that's sad to hear"

A day or so later I spontaneously went out with a friend to a restaurant and then to a bar where we ran into some mutual friends. Suddenly I hear someone yell my name. I turn around and it is XW's best friend who runs up and gives me the biggest hug. 

Friend:  It's soo good to see you! I've missed you so much! How are you?

We talk a bit and she keeps saying so many nice things about me.

Friend: I told XW multiple times that she will NEVER find another man like you! Ever!!

Me: That is very sweet of you to say, thank you.

Friend: no, really! And Ben, you are the best, XW says so many nice things about you! She said you've handled this better than any man ever could!

Me: That's nice to hear

Friend: And you know, I know she changed a lot but you should know, she never cheated on you!! 

Me: You mean besides bringing a man into our home and having sex with him?

When I said this, her face turned white as a ghost and jaws dropped. And I realize, she hasn't told her friend. I was stunned. I mean, now that I think of it, it goes against her values so much so it doesn't surprise me she wants to keep that perfect image of herself to everyone but this is her best friend, she was maid of honor at our wedding.

Friend: What!!!?? Is this true?

Me: I assumed you knew. 

Friend: Oh my god. When, how?

Me: Does it really matter? It was shortly before I told her to move out and it was while I was out of town. 

I could see her head trying to make sense of it all. Her eyes teared up and she hugged me. 

Me: Hey, it's fine, I'm ok.  This is a while ago now. I wish her nothing but the best.

We talked a bit more and she kept repeating "wow, there really are two sides to every story, I can't believe this" 

Throughout this time, I have made sure never to ask anyone anything about her. Never when I have met our mutual friends, never when her dad has reached out to me, never when her sister or sister's boyfriend messaged me. Not once have I mentioned her name to anyone. I know my family still follows her on social media but I have never asked them or even been tempted to look. But as I'm sitting there with friend of XW, she keeps telling me all these things about her and I realize, I don't care. I don't care where she lives, what she is doing. 

The only time I raised an eyebrow was when she said XW often grabs her phone to watch my stories on Instagram since I have blocked her. But that comes as no surprise either. Especially not after reading what Sandi wrote to Pack in her latest post.

All she is to me now is someone I used to know.