Harvey, I can’t find in your thread, but I thought when you and XW told your kids about D, there was some question whether she was going to own it, or that you both fell out of love. Whatever it was, would knowledge of OM have changed how it was handled.?
My XW wanted us to say that "we" wanted a divorce. I wouldn't do that. I wasn't going to own that. I was reading a couple of books at the time (a Father-Daughter book and "Children of Divorce"). One of them stated that daughters need to know their Dad would/did not give up on them and the family--especially those approaching their teen years. I made it clear to them on that day that I didn't want the divorce. I said my peace. I've never brought it up again after that day. I don't regret the decision. Whether there was an OM or not, wouldn't have changed how I handled it.
