Elbereth, you're self-aware to acknowledge you want them to see your changes. Good stuff. Here's why I think it's a good idea to primarily choose goals that are for you, where him seeing them doesn't matter. First, if the motivation to "win them back" is driving you, what happens when that's gone--i.e., you reconcile and get comfortable or your hope wanes? Second, if this behavior is "for them" you are likely to slowly build resentment over how much you do "for them". Third, if you ultimately fail to reconcile, a change "for you" prepares you to move forward whereas a change "for them" sets you back to square one.
