Awwwww that's great to hear Scout! It's the little moments like that make a HUGE impact. The words you chose to say to S2, about being brave and strong.... kind of like mama right? YAY! That must of made you feel amazing. Made me think of "Daniel Tiger"... are you familiar? Great life lessons..
Keep on keeping on girl! Hope the rest of your day (party day) goes smoothly.
YOU GOT THIS!
~Never Give Up ~ 2019 Mar BD June BD Dec Aow/xgf 2020 Jan he wants D Feb he flys2 ow Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn Apr he leaves for work until Nov Oct D FINAL 2020 Living MY Happiest Life Ever
Well, folks. Two hours of driving and twenty dollars worth of tolls later, it transpires there was no mother effing party.
Me: did you have fun playing with all the kids? S2: there were no kids, just cousins 1 and 2. Me: wasn’t there a party? did anyone else come? S2: no, we just had a marshmallow cake and went to the park.
So it seems that one or all of them lied about the ‘party’, which they were so busy prepping and purportedly took all day, in order to duck the responsibility of collecting and returning S2. What lovely people.
When I dropped him off, they all came out on the front lawn to meet us. Awkward, I was hoping to exchange quickly at the front door. First MIL and the birthday girl, then FIL and the baby I’ve never met, then SIL... my heart rate increasing each time. They greeted me and it was incredible. Just over the top false and sugary sweet after a year of pointed silence between us. I replied hello in a neutral tone, said a few parting words to S2, and went straight back to the car.
Pickup was more of the same. I knocked on the door and S2 came running. They all followed him outside demanding one last cuddle, one last tickle, one last conversation. I took his bag and stood silently to the side feeling uncomfortable. MIL said thanks for driving him and SIL chimed in. I nodded and buckled him into his car seat— they followed again, tapping on the window until I wound it down. Even once I pulled away from the curb, they still stood there waving.
This was a hard day for me. I kept thinking about the time MIL spoke to my mother on the phone when X kidnapped S2 and called us both liars. My mouth was dry, tongue-tied, unable to speak. Probably seems dramatic. But it was not easy to be in their presence for even such a short time. SIL told her daughter to thank me for the birthday present. I wanted to say it’s not from me, it’s from S2. It says so on the card. By your own decree, I’m not her Aunty anymore.
Ugh. I get it. May be useful to look at this in a pros and cons way:
Pros - S2 got to have fun with his cousins. Cousins are a valuable relationship for kids growing up. Also - S2 got to have some bonding time with grandparents.
Cons - you were inconvenienced. You are annoyed at ex’s family because of their lack of support (blood is almost always thicker than water, unfortunately) You don’t want to set a precedent of always having to be the one to do the work.
Hopefully this was a one-off because ex was out of town. And now that you’ve done it, you can feel free to turn down the next similar offer if it isn’t convenient for you. And be careful not to make ex’s family suffer for his sins - only for their own.
now that you’ve done it, you can feel free to turn down the next similar offer if it isn’t convenient for you. And be careful not to make ex’s family suffer for his sins - only for their own.
This. I know you put a lot of thought into making a decision about this. Try not to regret doing it as it has been mentioned - focus on the good that came to S2.
But going forward - you know the deal and can plan accordingly.
Sorry they were stinkers.
ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19
8/17-BD IHS: 1/17-2/19 D FILED (ME): 7/19 D FINAL: 10/20 M23 T25 OW CONFIRMED: 01/21
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
It wasn’t done with a grudge in my heart. I’m not upset with them, nor do I regret taking him. I just underestimated how rattled I’d feel seeing them. Not sure how involved they were in the subterfuge— possibly not at all. I was polite and civil, but got choked up and had to get out of there. Party or no party, S2 chattered happily all the way home so I know he had a fun day. My day wasn’t too shabby, either.
It was both scorching and spattered with bursts of summer rain. After the dropoff, I took my parents out for breakfast and coffee. Why are breakfast burgers so good? Thick cut bacon, a runny fried egg, rocket, caramelised onion, avo on a brioche bun... mmm. Mum surprised me with a new stand for my trombone and said she was proud of me for being brave. Like mother, like mother
Later in the day I had an optometrist appointment, then caught up with a friend for some authentic (I think?) American BBQ and alcoholic ginger beer. The place has a big smoker on the veranda which spits out brisket, ribs, porchetta, sausage, burnt ends smothered in sauce. Oh, and smoked mac and cheese. No salad! We went back to his place for tea and a chat afterward. Nice to keep up with friends of ten plus years.
Sounds like a great day. You play trombone? That’s awesome!
My best friend is a singer songwriter. I learned to play the drums after my divorce in my early fifties, and not long after began playing glockenspiel and percussion for her on short tours. Now I also play vibraphone and got to play glock and vibes on her last record. And among the many other instruments on this album was a trombone! She does these amazing arrangements, with cellos, trombone, French horn, guitar, drums, standup bass, vibes, piano , banjo... plus a wall heater grate. Then we go on the road and try to reproduce the songs with just guitar, cello, glockenspiel or vibes and snare drum.
I do, picked it up at age 11 when I started high school. Recently I was playing in a local symphony orchestra, but had to give that up when X left as it was too hard to work around S2. Hoping to start again if I get the chance.
Your music sounds really unique, does it fall into a particular genre? It must be a challenge to recreate such a big sound with so few instruments. I miss being part of full symphonic arrangements, jazz bands just aren’t the same.
