I come to the board to share what I really wish I would hve done differently and why , and what I feel I have done right and why. And also what like is like now the muck is over.
I’m sorry you find yourself here and I know where you are right now, hearing anything that sounds like “not trying to save my family” won’t be heard or understood” DB is awfully counterintuitive. And really, the only way to have a chance at saving your family, is to save yourself, and then what’s meant to happen will. Either the WAS decides to change for the better themselves, or they don’t. Or you end up reconciling with the same old person who did you dirty in the first place, and will likely do you dirty again .
Your heart is in the right place like many of who came here who thought doing anything to save our families like you at with a marriage saving program that seems to tell you if you don’t treat your Cheating spouse better than their affair partner you will lose him. I tried it, I still lost him. And some of my self respect along the way even if I told myself it was “for the family”
I don’t tell anyone to move out anymore. Because if you are dead set staying on the same roof , then you are. And I didn’t tell you to kick him out. I told you that might want to stop treating him like a husband when he is having an active affair. He can do his own laundry and feed himself while he is engaging in an extra marital affair. He is getting the best of both worlds right now. Why would he even consider stopping the affair if he could have his cake and eat it to? He has zero motivation for that.
But I know you will do what you will do. And I am very sorry you find yourself here and I wish you well.
