Midlife Crisis and Affair with Past GF

[Joe2017]

Just be careful. I think you feel like you're in control and being strong "for the family". I did that too. It was not worth it and it almost cost me my job and reputation because of my x.

Reconciliation involves a lot. The WAS has to be put into a contract the LBS dictates, like: The wayward must take a STD test. The wayward must relinquish all passwords to all devices and accounts. The wayward must overtly break off all contact with the AP in the presence of the LBS. A whole litany of things that places the WAS under notice that they are always subject to audit by the LBS.

And my X did them. She did everything I asked, even the STD test. She called OM on the phone with me on speaker and told him she was done and to never contact her again. And she still relapsed and went back to being wayward, texting her F buddies, calling the OM, all kinds of bullst.

It is hard. Very very hard. I did everything I could AND MORE. Still failed because of her.

Don't worry so much about the step kids. They'll understand one day. And to be frank, if they are minors they're not even your responsibility unless you adopted them

But look, the kids EO understand. My stepson still calls me Dad and wants to call me on the phone 3 years after the D. He understands what happened and he figured out it was his mother's fault, and doesn't blame me for anything.

Kids can surprise you with their resilience and intelligence.