Coming from experience...your boys are about the age my step-sons were when my H ended his first marriage. His XW is a narcissist and I’m here to tell you it does affect the kids. And your sitch is much worse than what my Hs sitch. Regardless, with a narcissist, the drama continues and never ends. Best advice I can provide is put the kids first and limit communication and direct exposure to your W. Your emotions and reactions are fuel to her. And she will use the kids as pawns. It’s very hard to prove these things in court, but if it gets nasty enough (post D) I’d consider a restraining order against her and force all communication to go through a “co-parenting portal” that has oversight or can be used in court. The only way to prevent drama is to block her access to you. As for the kids, if she remains a coparent, you will need to be aware she will use them to get to you. It’s only when they are older you can explain all the confusion they experienced when they were younger. Be your best self, keep mouth shut about her (at least until they mature enough to understand) and give them all the love and stability you can. Hang in there. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
The others are right. Unfortunately she really doesn’t care about you. It’s pretty obvious she only cares about herself. I actually feel that my H XW continued drama was one of the triggers for his MLC, and some major health issues for myself. Don’t just get out of her way, block her access to cause you and your kids more harm. Trust me. I wish my H had put more distance in place sooner and maybe my life wouldn’t be such a mess now.
Last edited by Elbereth; 01/31/2107:07 AM.
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
