Since my name was brought up, I thought maybe I would chime in. My ex cheated on me when I was pregnant with our first and only child. After going through IVF and a high risk pregnancy. He left me for her 6 months later. They will be married for 10 years on April fools day.
I am one of those situations where the affair Never ended. My daughter is 13 now.
And yea, I tried to “connect” By cooking his favorite meals and doing nice things for him. All while he was deeply involved with this woman. Hoping I could nice him back to our family. Guess what. It didn’t work. Instead I lost most of my dignity doing nice things for a guy who was openly and actively cheating on me. And I knew he was with this woman! OMG, if I could do anything different it would be that. I still cringe at the thought
You cannot nice him back. He may accept your nice gestures while laughing behind your back with OW, but you won’t get him back. So save yourself some face and stop . Maybe some nice acts when there isn’t an active affair, but when he had 2 women vying for his attention, he is only going to bask in it, and no reconsider anything .
This, is not going to save your marriage. Your only chance for saving your marriage is showing your own value and self respect.
