The marriage program I’m doing advises doing gifts and talk charges. It says the PA will end and if you are not ‘there’ they just move on to another OW.
I do find that the less I do, the more he reaches out, so I realize there is pursuer/distancing behavior happening. I’ve been careful to allow distance when he initiates it.
So right now I’m trying to show I’m here, but also have said I won’t have a R with him until OW is out of picture.
Yes, often people tell themselves the OM/OW1 "stole" their partner, and so are shocked when they're quickly replaced with OM/OW2. Where the LBS is when the gap occurs is critical. It does sounds like you have some distancer/pursuer dynamics at play. Keen observations and a good boundary. Commendable.
Originally Posted by Elbereth
In fact he called me “rock solid”. He suffers from depression and I’ve been his rock, and he knows it, and so I think it’s been hard for him to push blame on me, at least outwardly to friends and family.
You sound like a great partner.
Originally Posted by Elbereth
I feel he is damaged and he may never be the kind of man I need. I’m the only sane parent they have and want to show them that integrity, principles, and morals matter, Do you think I’m crazy?
You sound like a great parent. You do not sound crazy at all.
