True, she only stopped doing that when i stopped pursuing or trying to justify myself. I apologised that i made her feel that way and for things i know i did. Alot of it is stuff from years ago as well, it seems like she never forgave me or let anything go or she was just bringing it all up to justify her own actions and alleviate her guilt. I had apologised for these things many times in the past, i tried to change myself but did make the same mistakes again sometimes.
A technique I've found useful is "Repair". A top researcher in this area is Dr. Gottman. If you Google, you'll find a 10-minute summary, "How to Repair The Little Things So They Don't Become Big Things." As the name implies, it requires an existing relationship that you both want to repair (you probably aren't there yet). Your partner would also have to be willing to air a grievance in a non-abusive manner (so you don't abort--boundaries). PS - It's okay to repeat some mistakes. You're human!
