Trying to heal from WW

[sandi2]

When she started screaming or shouting i started to just switch off and withdraw or say that im not going to talk to her if she shouts at me.

Sounds as if she couldn't take criticism and her defense was to scream/shout. I doubt just telling her you aren't going to talk when she's reacting that way is enough.

After she left she would send me long messages saying hurtful things and blaming me and i would try to justify myself but i stopped doing this after a while and started apologising and trying to validate her and the way she felt.

I've read how a lot of angry W's have this need to hurt their H, and will send them letters, etc. It doesn't really end as long as the other one is trying to justify themselves, but I don't think you should apologize for something you aren't guilty of doing. A lot of women who have this type of anger, are not satisfied with an apology. An apology isn't always a healer. She's mad at whatever and she doesn't care how many times you apologize, she's still mad.

I think its a feeling of never feeling good enough, i am my harshest critic and i struggle to forgive myself for mistakes i have made. I think i do know why and im working on my issues through IC at the moment so i will get there.

I'm really glad to hear you are in counseling.