Trying to heal from WW

[Ace_32]

Yes so it would usually involve her or us. I just realised though that i didnt always approach it in such a straightforward way, would usually be quite passive aggressive or make comments or withdraw. Did sometimes say things straight but either way yes she would get very defensive and start telling me things i did wrong. Do think it happened at different times and different circumstances as well, so not always the same situation. When she started screaming or shouting i started to just switch off and withdraw or say that im not going to talk to her if she shouts at me.

I dont have kids and havent seen her in 6 months, the paragraph above is stuff that would happen while we were together. After she left she would send me long messages saying hurtful things and blaming me and i would try to justify myself but i stopped doing this after a while and started apologising and trying to validate her and the way she felt.

I think its a feeling of never feeling good enough, i am my harshest critic and i struggle to forgive myself for mistakes i have made. I think i do know why and im working on my issues through IC at the moment so i will get there. I do get what you say about taking the mentality of a victim, i know i have done that and i need to sort it out asap.

Thanks for the advice Sandi.